My Greatest Enemy

My greatest enemy in life is … ME. I am my hardest judge, I am more than often too cruel to myself.

I don’t want pity. Please never pity me. I have only given you glimpses of my life. I have only ever really shown you the pain. But I still don’t need your pity, why would I

I am still here, still standing, still trying. I don’t want to come across as defeated because I’m not. I have a kind soul and a big heart. It would be so easy to be bitter and give up, but who is that really hurting … just me.

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The Teacher

I let bad love betray me once, But I was barely outta high school then, And I guess I fear the same results, That none will take me as I am, I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again, so tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again

The Heart is a Muscle – Gang of Youths

If I’m completely honest at the moment the best I have in me is a crawl. I’m not running into life with arms wide open. I’m rolling out of bed hoping its my feet that hit the ground first.

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The Psychologist …. maybe

I was sitting at my work desk when I realised I couldn’t pretend anymore. I couldn’t spend another 11 years like I just had, being someone’s side project. I didn’t want to play house with the Psychologist anymore.

I sent a very short emotionless text. ” I’m not coming home” … “That’s ok what time will you be home tomorrow?” … “No. I’m never coming home, I don’t want this anymore. I’ve had enough. I’m out”

This was the start of starting again .. again

Continue reading “The Psychologist …. maybe”

The Psychologist ….

Have you ever watched one of those current affairs or midday talk shows with the women who have been conned, played, destroyed by a man. I have and I’ve always thought they were idiots. How could you get yourself into that situations? How could you not see what he was doing? How could you let it get to that stage? How? The answer … Easily.

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Along came a Spider

I finished my walk on such a euphoric high. I again loved life, loved my fresh new outlook … I loved me (maybe for the first time ever). I was ready for the next chapter in my life. I was ready to get my life back on track and headed in the right direction. All that wishful thinking however came crashing down within hours of setting foot back home. Every little thing I thought I had worked through was now right in front of me. I was back to square one.

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3 Wise Men & The Kid

The Camino isn’t a “holiday” like most. I actually wouldn’t even call it a holiday. It’s an adventure. It’s a healing process. It’s something most people do when they get to a certain point in life and they just need a break. You’ll find that most people on the Camino have just experienced one of the following, a death, a break up, a break down, or they are just plain lost in life. It takes a certain kind of mind-set to be able to walk endless km’s and have hours worth of thinking time. It can either be exactly what you need or the exact opposite. For me the Camino was everything I needed it to be, and it came with all the help I needed. My help came in the form of “Three wise men and The Kid.”

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The Eat Pray Love Tour

20180204_073518A friend once joked about my hike as being my very own version of the Julia Roberts movie Eat Pray Love. So it became just that, my eat, pray love tour.

Dinner for 1

When you think of all things love I’m sure Paris pops into your mind at some stage, so of course who doesn’t dream of being in the  “City of Love” for Valentines day … ME! That’s who. Who plans to start a trip of a life time on a day that celebrates every single thing I currently was not. After everything I had dealt with in the last few years, all things love was off-limits for me. Continue reading “The Eat Pray Love Tour”