I finished my walk on such a euphoric high. I again loved life, loved my fresh new outlook … I loved me (maybe for the first time ever). I was ready for the next chapter in my life. I was ready to get my life back on track and headed in the right direction. All that wishful thinking however came crashing down within hours of setting foot back home. Every little thing I thought I had worked through was now right in front of me. I was back to square one.
Continue reading “Along came a Spider”
The Camino isn’t a “holiday” like most. I actually wouldn’t even call it a holiday. It’s an adventure. It’s a healing process. It’s something most people do when they get to a certain point in life and they just need a break. You’ll find that most people on the Camino have just experienced one of the following, a death, a break up, a break down, or they are just plain lost in life. It takes a certain kind of mind-set to be able to walk endless km’s and have hours worth of thinking time. It can either be exactly what you need or the exact opposite. For me the Camino was everything I needed it to be, and it came with all the help I needed. My help came in the form of “Three wise men and The Kid.”
Continue reading “3 Wise Men & The Kid”
A friend once joked about my hike as being my very own version of the Julia Roberts movie Eat Pray Love. So it became just that, my eat, pray love tour.
Dinner for 1
When you think of all things love I’m sure Paris pops into your mind at some stage, so of course who doesn’t dream of being in the “City of Love” for Valentines day … ME! That’s who. Who plans to start a trip of a life time on a day that celebrates every single thing I currently was not. After everything I had dealt with in the last few years, all things love was off-limits for me. Continue reading “The Eat Pray Love Tour”
I have never felt as violated as I was this night. For the first time ever I felt what it was really like to be exposed, humiliated … hated. Continue reading “Hacked and Humiliated”
I made a plan. A good Plan. An exciting Plan. All there was to do now was tell mum the plan …..
I am all for signs, I think the universe always throws little hints our way. This time was no different. Back when I was still married, I was home alone (my favourite time) and I chucked on the T.V midday movie to pass the time. This movie was the start of something and my first sign from the universe. The Way. (If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favour and check it out. Plus it has Martin Sheen in it, the man does no wrong ). I loved the movie so much so I went hunting online for a copy to buy. Continue reading “The Plan, The Attack”
The first year we were separated was so hard. It really was. As much as I wanted to completely cut ties with him I couldn’t. We had built a whole life together and now we needed to pull it all apart. Pets, Houses, Cars, Loans … Life.
His emotions were so up and down over the first 12 months. Some times we could be civil, sometimes he was psychotic, sometimes he acted as if I was still his. It changed weekly, and it took its toll on me. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped eating properly, I stopped functioning. Yet still somehow I felt amazing. Drained but amazing. I was doing life all on my own. Well that’s what I first thought but by the end of the first year it all had changed. Continue reading “Year One”
I woke up New Years Day, alone, in tears, terrified and literally the happiest and strongest I’ve ever been.
I called my mum and asked if I could move home for a while. She instantly answered with a yes and the only question she asked was “what do you need me to do right now?” My mum and dad where on my front door step in 25 minutes with every reusable shopping bag, washing tub and suitcase my mum could get her hands on. I laid on my cold bathroom tiles and watched my mum pack up my life for me. She grabbed everything she could and once a bag/tub was full she would put it at the front door and my dad would pack it into the car. A production line of my life being packed up.
So far only 3 people knew my marriage was over. Me, My Mum, My Dad. Self-involved Husband was still away camping and didn’t feel the need to check in, or even just say Happy New Year. It wasn’t until the 2nd of January he finally called to tell me he was heading home. That’s when I told him, roughly 36 hours after I had decided it was over, that he was coming home to an empty house. Continue reading “Starting again …The first time”