Adulthood, broken heart, fresh start, hope, life, Love, Marriage, new love, Pain, Single, Uncategorized

The Teacher

I let bad love betray me once, But I was barely outta high school then, And I guess I fear the same results, That none will take me as I am, I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again, so tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again

The Heart is a Muscle – Gang of Youths

If I’m completely honest at the moment the best I have in me is a crawl. I’m not running into life with arms wide open. I’m rolling out of bed hoping its my feet that hit the ground first.

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Adulthood, Con man, life, Love, Marriage, Pain, police, Single, Travel, Uncategorized

The Psychologist …. maybe

I was sitting at my work desk when I realised I couldn’t pretend anymore. I couldn’t spend another 11 years like I just had, being someone’s side project. I didn’t want to play house with the Psychologist anymore.

I sent a very short emotionless text. ” I’m not coming home” … “That’s ok what time will you be home tomorrow?” … “No. I’m never coming home, I don’t want this anymore. I’ve had enough. I’m out”

This was the start of starting again .. again

Continue reading “The Psychologist …. maybe”

Adulthood, life, Love, Marriage, Pain, Single, Travel, Uncategorized

The Psychologist ….

Have you ever watched one of those current affairs or midday talk shows with the women who have been conned, played, destroyed by a man. I have and I’ve always thought they were idiots. How could you get yourself into that situations? How could you not see what he was doing? How could you let it get to that stage? How? The answer … Easily.

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Adulthood, life, Love, Marriage, Pain, Single, Travel, Uncategorized

3 Wise Men & The Kid

The Camino isn’t a “holiday” like most. I actually wouldn’t even call it a holiday. It’s an adventure. It’s a healing process. It’s something most people do when they get to a certain point in life and they just need a break. You’ll find that most people on the Camino have just experienced one of the following, a death, a break up, a break down, or they are just plain lost in life. It takes a certain kind of mind-set to be able to walk endless km’s and have hours worth of thinking time. It can either be exactly what you need or the exact opposite. For me the Camino was everything I needed it to be, and it came with all the help I needed. My help came in the form of “Three wise men and The Kid.”

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Adulthood, life, Love, Marriage, Pain, Single, Travel, Uncategorized

The Eat Pray Love Tour

20180204_073518A friend once joked about my hike as being my very own version of the Julia Roberts movie Eat Pray Love. So it became just that, my eat, pray love tour.

Dinner for 1

When you think of all things love I’m sure Paris pops into your mind at some stage, so of course who doesn’t dream of being in the  “City of Love” for Valentines day … ME! That’s who. Who plans to start a trip of a life time on a day that celebrates every single thing I currently was not. After everything I had dealt with in the last few years, all things love was off-limits for me. Continue reading “The Eat Pray Love Tour”

Adulthood, life, Love, Marriage, Pain, Single, Travel, Uncategorized

Hacked and Humiliated

20180125_234951

I have never felt as violated as I was this night. For the first time ever I felt what it was really like to be exposed, humiliated … hated.

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Adulthood, life, Love, Marriage, Pain, Single, Uncategorized

Starting again …The first time

20180115_121542

I woke up New Years Day, alone, in tears, terrified and literally the happiest and strongest I’ve ever been.

I called my mum and asked if I could move home for a while. She instantly answered with a yes and the only question she asked was “what do you need me to do right now?” My mum and dad where on my front door step in 25 minutes with every reusable shopping bag, washing tub and suitcase my mum could get her hands on. I laid on my cold bathroom tiles and watched my mum pack up my life for me. She grabbed everything she could and once a bag/tub was full she would put it at the front door and my dad would pack it into the car. A production line of my life being packed up.

So far only 3 people knew my marriage was over. Me, My Mum, My Dad. Self-involved Husband was still away camping and didn’t feel the need to check in, or even just say Happy New Year. It wasn’t until the 2nd of January he finally called to tell me he was heading home. That’s when I told him, roughly 36 hours after I had decided it was over, that he was coming home to an empty house.

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